To write about her isn't an easy thing to do. Maybe it is as difficult as finishing my undergraduate thesis. To describe our strange yet beautiful relationship is also confusing. Because some things are best understandable, not undescribable.
(To be honest, i don't know where to start. But i'm sure this will flow as i find how to work this writing naturally.. :P)
I admire her so much: her fighting spirit and her never-ending struggle to take care of her family; and of course her effort to raise her children. Since her husband quits his job, she has been the only one who is in charge financially in her family. Thank God she is gifted in sales-marketing thingy, so that she can earn enough to fulfill the family's needs. Eventhough she doesn't have any degree in those workfields and works independently, she does pretty good and that is another thing i really envy her for.
She has a big problem that's still need to be solved, but i barely hear her grouching or making any excuse. There must be reasons behind it, and i guess one of her reasons is to teach her grown-up kids to be strong and never give-up. If i were her, i guess i couldn't be that tough. And sometimes i feel embarrassed with what i occasionally do: being so low and get easily freaked-out. Everytime i compare her life to mine when she was at my age, i embarrassed myself even more because she could never ask her parents for anything without working her ass on things that can give her money. For example, she sold homemade cakes door to door to pay for her school fees because her parents couldn't afford it (and perhaps you can imagine how to earn more money, even for a handful of candy or new clothes) while most of the time i rely on my mom's --her-- cash for everything.
Yep, she is my mother. A very tough woman whom i always adore and love, eventhough sometimes i get bored with what she said. Call me rude but i am just being honest. I may not always listen to what she says and think that she is overrated, but in the end i still consider her advice as the best because she just knows me very well. I admit that i hate it when she keeps on repeating about her concerns about me or my life; i also get annoyed when suddenly she shows-up in me-and-my-friends'-without-parents-conversation then being to worry or curious about what we will become in next 5-10 years and what kind of boy/girlfriends we have. And i really can't tolerate her when she starts to sound too proud of me or reveal my broken-heart story that is sooooooooooo frickin' interesting to her!
It is obvious that i am no such good daughter. When she experienced hard day after-work and looked for something to calm her down, i was the one who ruined her very simple wish by had a brother-sister fight with my brother. Shouting at each other, yelled at each other and put the blame at each other, you name it! To nobody surprise, she became very angry.
But no matter how much and how often i make her feel bad, she keeps on catching me when i fall. She may not call me everyday when i am in my boarding house, but she always reach me in the right time. Eventhough she happens to be broke, she always gives me the best thing she could offer. She never say "I Love You", but i just know she loves me from what she does.
She takes care of me eventhough i keep shouting at her;
she gives me a wonderful life although i keep asking for more;
she loves me, even when all i do is hurting her...
Dear God, please give her more time to watch me grow into somebody who will make her proud.
Happy mother's day, Mama.
(To be honest, i don't know where to start. But i'm sure this will flow as i find how to work this writing naturally.. :P)
I admire her so much: her fighting spirit and her never-ending struggle to take care of her family; and of course her effort to raise her children. Since her husband quits his job, she has been the only one who is in charge financially in her family. Thank God she is gifted in sales-marketing thingy, so that she can earn enough to fulfill the family's needs. Eventhough she doesn't have any degree in those workfields and works independently, she does pretty good and that is another thing i really envy her for.
She has a big problem that's still need to be solved, but i barely hear her grouching or making any excuse. There must be reasons behind it, and i guess one of her reasons is to teach her grown-up kids to be strong and never give-up. If i were her, i guess i couldn't be that tough. And sometimes i feel embarrassed with what i occasionally do: being so low and get easily freaked-out. Everytime i compare her life to mine when she was at my age, i embarrassed myself even more because she could never ask her parents for anything without working her ass on things that can give her money. For example, she sold homemade cakes door to door to pay for her school fees because her parents couldn't afford it (and perhaps you can imagine how to earn more money, even for a handful of candy or new clothes) while most of the time i rely on my mom's --her-- cash for everything.
Yep, she is my mother. A very tough woman whom i always adore and love, eventhough sometimes i get bored with what she said. Call me rude but i am just being honest. I may not always listen to what she says and think that she is overrated, but in the end i still consider her advice as the best because she just knows me very well. I admit that i hate it when she keeps on repeating about her concerns about me or my life; i also get annoyed when suddenly she shows-up in me-and-my-friends'-without-parents-conversation then being to worry or curious about what we will become in next 5-10 years and what kind of boy/girlfriends we have. And i really can't tolerate her when she starts to sound too proud of me or reveal my broken-heart story that is sooooooooooo frickin' interesting to her!
It is obvious that i am no such good daughter. When she experienced hard day after-work and looked for something to calm her down, i was the one who ruined her very simple wish by had a brother-sister fight with my brother. Shouting at each other, yelled at each other and put the blame at each other, you name it! To nobody surprise, she became very angry.
But no matter how much and how often i make her feel bad, she keeps on catching me when i fall. She may not call me everyday when i am in my boarding house, but she always reach me in the right time. Eventhough she happens to be broke, she always gives me the best thing she could offer. She never say "I Love You", but i just know she loves me from what she does.
She takes care of me eventhough i keep shouting at her;
she gives me a wonderful life although i keep asking for more;
she loves me, even when all i do is hurting her...
Dear God, please give her more time to watch me grow into somebody who will make her proud.
Happy mother's day, Mama.
